I've been lazy...I wanna put my foot in mouth about customers

seriously...I use to love em. Now I'm like wanting to be a server at DICKS so I can tell em (90%) to FUCK off! Here are some of my personal journal entries on "Types of Customers"......

Family Circle

·         The “High-Tech” family. This is the most pathetic family by far! Moms on her Blackberry, Dads on his android, the teenagers are playing with their I-Pods or I-Pads, and the baby is watching a movie on a Portable DVD player, phone or I-Pad. Not one word is spoken at this table. Except for when I take their order. And the kids already has sent a text to mom about what they want !

·         “Elsie” is that lady who pulls out her boob and breast feeds without covering herself. Everyone walks by that table over and over again to take a look-see! I feel so weird, I can’t stop staring. I feel like a moth drawn to the light.

·         The “changing table” lady and I don’t mean in the restroom. This nasty Byatch changes her kids’ poopy diaper at the table or booth she’s eating at. Then this nasty Byatch leaves it behind. Did I mention the fucker is 5?

·         The “Artistic” kid. This little shit pours sugar on the table and plays and draws with it like sand. When you try to pick it up its parents get offended and say “No, let him he’s playing”

·         The dad that never orders anything. He eats everyone’s leftovers instead

·         The family that leaves more food on the floor than they did on their plates. Its funny these people think that by smearing it into the carpet no one will notice that it was there. FYI it only makes it worse pig! (Do these people make a mess at home too?)  (oh yea your kid does count as a person so I CAN ADD GRATUITY!)

·         Awe the “Brady Bunch”. This big family lets their kids run around the restaurant, play under the tables, jump off the chairs, yell, cry, fight, fart and burp and are clueless that the entire restaurant is moving away from them. When you ask them to restrain their “little angels” they are offended! “They’re just babies!”(I never heard a baby say "fuck off!"...NICE!)

·         The “put you on the spot people”. These A-holes are fighting over the check and want you to take a side. Then start fighting with you. WTF? (the one who acts upset is the cheap-ass!) Wants to act like HOW DARE YOU! (secretly sayin "hell yeah...free meal! Glad I ordered a to go meal and dessert!")